


Kings and their Court Jesters

by Inkribbon796



Series: Masks and Maladies [121]
Category: Jacksepticeye Power Hour (Web Series), Markiplier TV (Web Series)
Genre: Anti is soft, Birthday Post, Gen, Uncle Anti, crazy Jims, overprotective Dark, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28932504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkribbon796/pseuds/Inkribbon796
Summary: King is having a bit of a full day, dealing with a pair of resident Jims when a certain glitch comes into his park.
Series: Masks and Maladies [121]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538131
Comments: 35
Kudos: 11





	Kings and their Court Jesters

**Author's Note:**

> King’s birthday post.

Today was an average day for King. He was braving the weather like so many others. The snow had stopped for the moment and so King was out watching over his park without Dark breathing down his neck and trying to drag him back to the base, or on one occasion the Manor, where he considered King  _ “safe”. _

Which really pissed King off for a long time but he figured that he had a good couple months before Dark probably got less insistent that King exist under at least three warm layers and a cup of tea in his hands. So there was little he could do about Dark right now.

Even if it frustrated him to no end that Dark would just let him make his own choices like the adult he actually was!

King was watching over his park, waiting for Dark to try and pull him away, when one of his crows came over and landed next to him, jumping a couple of times to get his attention.

Looking over at the corvid, King leaned over and tilted his head. The onyx bird jumped on his shoulder and spoke, “Green fucker, green fucker.”

“Asha,” King moved his hands so the crow souls perch on his hand, a smile on his face. “This is a family park. Okay, let’s go.”

The bird flew off, constantly circling around so King could follow the corvid.

In the distance he saw two of the Jim running around he would have to check on them in a little bit.

King and the crow got to the edge of the park and King saw exactly what the bird had meant. On the sidewalk on the western edge of his park there was a parking meter that was sparking with green electricity.

“ _ Ohhh, _ I see what you mean,” King smiled and cleared his throat.

Anti shot out and walked over, glaring at everything around them. He gestured to the park, “Can we talk?”

At first King waited for Anti to just stroll past the grassy line in front of them, but he didn’t.

“Are—” King faltered in realization, “are you asking for permission?”

“Shut up,” Anti scoffed. “I go where’er I want. Do whate’er I want. An’ I would ne’er need anyone’s permission.” [1]

King just silently stared at him in a smug way that reminded the glitch demon simultaneously of both Dark and Wil in one fell swoop.

“I’ll do it,” Anti threatened, glitching heavily.

“Okay big guy,” King rolled his eyes, pulling out his phone. “Just don’t touch or threaten, or bother anyone. In fact, no one can see you.”

“Fine,” Anti scoffed, “whate’er.” [2]

Anti jumped into the phone and King walked back into the park with a smile, unaware of the eyes watching him. King was too busy putting his headphones on to talk with Anti without looking  _ completely _ crazy.

“Alright why are you really here?” King asked as he went to go find the Jim’s before they could accidentally set something on fire. It was the middle of winter but the Jims could set something on fire in a matterless void so King didn’t like leaving them to their own devices.

__ _ “I got in, victory is mine.” _ Anti responded.

“ _ Uh huh, _ sure big guy,” King reassured, three squirrels sped towards him as King found the Jims trying to interview his squirrels. Two of the furry rodents perched on his head, and the third climbed onto his head, hiding underneath his crown.

“Tell us your kingdom’s secrets, oh furry prince!” RJ screamed, chasing the squirrel. King just watched them with a squirrel on each shoulder and one on his head, and a huge smile on his face.

__ _ “They fookin’ _ _ [3] _ _ freak me out, _ ” Anti admitted.  _ “I’ve killed ten ‘a these fooks an’ they keep comin’ back.” _ _ [4] _

“Probably should stop killing them,” King told him.

__ _ “Nah,” _ Anti dismissed.  _ “I don’t like the idea that I can’t kill somethin’. So they gotta die.” _ _ [5] _

King watched from a distance, the Jims trying to interview him briefly before they apparently got whatever it was they came for and left. Anti was mostly quiet, hacking his way into King’s phone camera to see.

__ _ “What’dya see in these fookers?” _ _ [6] _ Anti finally said as the two passed a nice family, the kids swarmed King before being called back by their parents.  _ “They’re a bunch ‘a _ _ [7] _ _ screamin’ meatbags.” _

“Maybe because I’m one of those  _ “screaming meatbags” _ and they’re just minding their own business,” King reminded.

Anti just cackled,  _ “Nah, yer a spawnling. I don’t care if yeh were one ‘a these fookers originally. Yer one ‘a us now.” _ _ [8] _

King didn’t much like the phrasing of that, but he guessed in some way it was true.

__ _ “Yah know, no one owns that diner ta the right ‘a the park, yah could take it,” _ _ [9] _ Anti offered.

“I’m fine, besides, that’s Deceit’s territory,” King reminded sharply.

__ _ “Who gives a flyin’ fook?” _ _ [10] _ Anti scoffed.  _ “That dumbarse isn’t e’en a demon. _ _ [11]  _ _ Only Dark cares about stuff like that.” _

“I don’t care about that,” King told Anti. “I’ve got my park and that’s it.”

__ _ “I don’t get how yah all are just—” _ _ [12] _ Anti stopped, clearly frustrated.

__ _ “Illinois has the university, Yan’s got that street with those weird cafés, Yancy’s got that weird hospital he won’t let me burn down,” _ Anti listed.  _ “I just think Dark’s trained yeh all not ta branch out.” _ _ [13] _

“Maybe we just don’t think like you,” King offered. “We’re not glitch demons.”

Anti was uncharacteristically quiet after that, but he next asked to be taken to the next electrical outlet so he could leave to start shit with Remus.

But while King was in the park with Anti another exchange was taking place. Across the street from the spot King had initially walked into the park with the glitch demon, Dark had dragged one of the demon hunters that had been watching King for a while now in a shaded alleyway.

Dark curled his hand around the Legionnaire’s throat. Most of his attention was on King, he had sent a magical raven to watch him talking with Anti. A little who was too close, and a little too friendly with Anti for the demon’s liking. But there was little Dark could do about that.

Dark had used his aura to scratch deep cuts into the demon hunter.

“I thought I was clear to you worthless slugs the last time you came into my city,” Dark sneered in contempt. “You and your kind are not welcome here.”

“Let go of Barnum, and drop that body,” the Legionnaire spat.

“His children are not yours to attack,” Dark warned. “If I find that any of you pests have so much as touched a single hair on their heads I will repeat ‘73 so thoroughly that not even Celine’s pity will spare a single one of you.”

In an act of sheer bravery, or Dark thought the more likely option was stupidity, the demon hunter spat in Dark’s face and began chanting a spell.

Dark took the hunter’s throat out for that, and after copying himself enough he dumped the body right outside with a rather elegant note attached to it:

__ _ “Touch them and you’ll wish I had just killed you like I did with this one.” _

The Entity trailed King for a bit and later in the week he would come up with some asinine reason to discorporate Anti, the glitch never knowing the real reason was because he’d gotten into King’s park.

**Author's Note:**

> Accessibility Translations  
> 1\. I go wherever I want. Do whatever I want. And I would never need anyone’s permission.  
> 2\. whatever  
> 3\. fucking  
> 4\. I’ve killed ten of these fuckers and they keep coming back.  
> 5\. I don’t like the idea that I can’t kill something. So they have to die.  
> 6\. What do you see in these fuckers?  
> 7\. of  
> 8\. No, you’re a spawnling. I don’t care if you were one of these fuckers originally. You’re one of us now.  
> 9\. You know, no one owns that dinner to the right of the park, you could take it,  
> 10\. Who gives a flying fook?  
> 11\. That dumb ass isn’t even a demon.  
> 12\. I don’t get how you all are just—  
> 13\. I just think Dark’s trained you all not to branch out.


End file.
